Castles

after my last huge relationship disaster i promised myself never again. and so far so good until that weekend. i think i fucked up.  shouldn’t have made a move. and should have not let her also. ive always been so good at blocking everyone out and yet there we were completely guarded up behind the strongest of walls, and then we jumped over our safe protective castle walls and crossed the protective moat to keep everyone away, and there we were both out in the open, in the middle of no mans land waving the white flag of truse. even if only for those brief moments, then we both retreated back into our safe haven barricaded castles and shut everyone out even each other because we are now worried of what just happened.  what might become.  what feelings might arrive. i should have stayed behind my locked gates of hell.  heaven is no place for a man like me. but i cant help but wonder, if we will ever pull out the white flags again…